The "Sperminator"

Okay, after hearing countless stories about the "Sperminator", aka Schwarzenegger, and his "cheating" escapades, it got me to thinking. Why is it so effin difficult for people to just stay faithful? We hear about all the scandals that come from big celebrity names, but it happens everyday, to everyday people. Cheating has horrible affects on EVERYONE, especially when children are involved. I know for a fact that some people, mainly women, think it's just peachy to cheat and they'll get away with it because they have children to use as "collateral". Think again, people. If you will truly have SEX with another human being while you are in a committed relationship, than you don't truly love that person and should have called it off way before that ship ever thought about sailing.

I get it, relationships are difficult, but they're worth it. To have someone to love forever, to grow old with and share your life with, to have babies and grand babies together, isn't that worth it?


I'll be the first person to say that you really cant say you'd do something differently than another person has done, until you are put in their shoes, which of course you'll never be. But, this is one subject that I have seen, first hand, the devastation that comes from cheating significant others, and I can firmly say, I wouldn't do it. And if for some crazy, off the wall reason, I did, I wouldn't keep it from my husband. Which, I can also say with very strong conviction that if I did, my husband would leave me and I wouldn't blame him one bit because I would do that same, if the situation was reversed. The reason I say that is because if my husband was to betray me in such a horrible way, I could never get over it. It is the ultimate betrayal, hands down.

My husband and I actually started dating as teenagers after EACH of our then current "boy/girl-friends" cheated on us. Even then, being so young, it was such a horrible betrayal for both of us. Which maybe that's why we see eye to eye on that matter 100%.


In ending, I'd just like to say, feel the need for another? Seek some counselling to find out what the true meaning of your wandering eye is about. If that doesn't help? Save alot of hurt feelings, be the bigger person, and ask for the split.

In which I talk about the major sucking of this blog..

I did it. I let all the negative crap going on push me away from things I love doing. Riding? Eh, not much.. Blogging? Eh..pretty much fell off the map.

It's cool though..I've got some things on my mind...just a few. And I plan to write about it. Why? Because I have no shame. So, I'm giving fair warning to family and friends that read this (hopefully someone does), if you don't care to read about my sex life, weight loss, family issues, daycare issues..this wont be your cup of tea. Kthx

P.S. Yes, I still plan to spill my guts about Aden too, soon.

Feel the tide turning

I feel the tide turning... I look to the future and know that there are great things ahead. I have to believe that good people get what they deserve and that there is justice in this world. No more worrying and waiting. It's done and over, we will do what we feel is best, as we've always done.


I'm at peace knowing that I have so many blessings in my life. All the hard work will pay off. It already has. Everything I've ever dreamt for is what I already have, I'm embracing it.

Life is hard. Life as a full time working mother is harder. But, I've come to realize that by working, I'm able to give Aden things he wouldn’t other wise have. I don’t mean material things such as toys and clothes, although those things are nice too. I mean James and I are able to provide him with a home in a great school district, without both of our incomes, that simply would not be possible. So, if I'm working to simply pay for a home and the other very basic needs of our family, I'm okay with that.

Even though I'm working all those hours, at the end of the day, when I go to pick him up, I hear him run to the door saying "Mama Mama Mama” and it's all worth it.

There are things that get put on the back burner when you are as busy as we are. For instance.... the relationship that you had with your husband, before mother/fatherhood was in the picture. I'm proud to say that my relationship with my wonderful, handsome husband is alive and thriving. We made a conscious decision to make time for each other, and to make the time we get alone count. And it's working, we have lunch at the park together when the weather is nice, we make the time we have in the car to and from work count... We just took a step back from all the stress to see the bigger picture and the reason for it all...our love.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is.....

Screw the B/S from situations we can not control.

 It's okay to be a working mother, my son still loves me and I'm still his favorite person no matter what.

Making time to nurture and care for the love that brought this all together is well worth it..


Like falling in love all over again.

Yeah, Yeah, so the baby was "Big" Whatever..

After much research regarding the whole *birthing* process, I look back on my birth experience and think WTF. I mean really, I had no clue that doctors would use scare tactics on you to convince you one way or the other that during your labor you will need countless interventions and ultimately end up with a C-section. I think they secretly think **yessss** when your ultrasound predicts you're growing a "large" baby. That way if your labor stalls and you don't produce the required 1 cm per hour they can just chalk it up to the baby being too **big**, call for a c-section, and call it a day.


I hate that.

Coming to that conclusion was very difficult for me to accept. I mean the doctor I **still** see is a fabulous and caring person. He is quite possibly the most charismatic person I've ever encountered. He's even my freakin facebook friend. He makes you love him. I would love to see him with my next pregnancy, but I ain't gonna.

Now, looking at his C-section rate, it makes me sick. He's one of the highest around. I know exactly what would happen shall I see him with my next pregnancy.

Next time, I want a med-free, all natural, VAGINAL birth or in my case a VBAC. I want to push my baby out, regardless of the *size*, have him/her thrown on my stomach, be able to nurse right away and go home within the standard 2 days and not worry about all the obstables that comes from giving birth via C-section. As opposed to having drugs injected into your spine, feeling like you cant breathe while the doctor cuts your baby out, wait almost an hour before you can breastfeed, feel like a horrible failure, and stay 4 days in the hospital to then go home and spend WEEKS recovering from major abdominal surgery. Not to mention all the *risk* that go along with that surgery and the future *risk* it could very well cause with future pregnancies.

I want a vaginal delivery. It's my god given right as a woman.


I guess what I'm trying to say is next time, I'm going to trust my body first and the doctor second.


Happy Friday! Looking forward to following some new blogs!

18 Months..

To my sweet Bubbaloo,


You're just a few days away from turning 19 months old. Everyone says the time flys by when you have children, and I think they're right for the most part, time seems to speed up as we age altogether. Every now and then I go back and watch videos from when you were an infant, like this one taken when you first started to crawl around 9 months ago.




To me it seems just yesterday... then I see you today, running around, climbing, talking and realize what a big, handsome toddler you have become. You're so very smart and have such a fierce little attitude, just like your mommy. You have no problem telling anyone sitting in the rocking chair to "MOVE", while waving your arm boldly, when you want me to rock and nurse you. After much thought and consideration, I've decided to let you nurse until you're two, you're welcome.

I'm not sad that you're no longer a baby though. I'm really diggin the whole Toddler stage. In fact when I think about you getting older I'm actually excited. When I was pregnant all I could think of was you as a little baby. The fact that we get to keep you and watch you grow into your own little person is amazing.

Going outside is still on your top list of favorite things to do. You climb onto your power wheels you got for Christmas and have such a proud look as you haul tail around the yard. The horses look at you like you're a little monster that's going to sprout wings and fly over the fence to eat them at any moment, but that's just a bonus.

 

Here's to all the new and wonderful adventures to come, my sweet little man.

Love,

Mama

A little bit of this....A little bit of that

First off, Aden is 18 mos old, and this kid rocks my world.

He's starting to say simple sentences such as "Mama rock, Mama Tit Ta, Da Da MOVE" Yeah, the boy has his Mama's attitude for sure. Poor, Poor James. He also loves to sing and dance. So sweet, I really must get it on video asap. His favorite show is Nemo and Cars at the moment and his favorite thing is..... you guessed it ....still.... Tit Ta. I have a feeling the kid would stay on the boob indefinitely if I don't take him off. Which I've decided will be around the 2 year mark.

Current News with me is Miscarriages suck major ass and James and I lost our lil baby just a week ago. I was only about 6 weeks along but it sucked hard, nonetheless. We'll start trying again, sometime soon probably. The good news is the very first "try" I got pregnant. With two miscarriages under my belt I'm figuring I'm done in that department. Crossing my fingers next time sticks. So send  some sticky baby vibes my way eh?? It does make me feel a little better knowing I have wonderful family and friends that care deeply for me and send me things like this to work when I've lost my sweet baby to be..

My sister rocks my world too.


I have other not so thrilling news but I prefer to block that out and pretend all is right in my world at the moment.

So I haven't been blogging lately and Thanksgiving came....

And then Christmas:

Now tell me that didn't make you smile??

And then our yearly trip to the Dallas World Aquarium. This was 2010 photo:

These are from this year 2011:

And tell me that isn't the most handsome guy on the freakin face of the planet?!?

 

17 Month letter

My dearest Aden,

You are now 17 months old! You've grown into an active toddler right before my eyes. Your infancy went by so quickly I find myself struggling to remember the sweet baby sounds that you used to make or exactly how you looked and changed each month as you grew older. Thank goodness for camera's right? Although I've been falling behind on that job lately, seems there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish all I set out to do. Yeah, I'm still a little bitter about not being able to stay home with you and enjoy each and every minute. So I make the time I do get quality and spoil you as much as I can.

 Speaking of spoiling.....It's Christmas time again. Your first Christmas, last year, you were just five months old, just rolling around starting to explore your world. Now, you are running full force through the house ((***sigh***)), yelling at the dog and following your daddy everywhere as if he hung the moon. When you wake in the  morning he is the very first person you look for. If he's not next to me in bed you yell "DAAA DA DA" until he comes in to scoop you up. I look forward to Christmas this year a great deal seeing as you will certainly be able to rip open all of your presents and show your eagerness to play with your new toys.

Your smiles and happiness are what is most important in my life now. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I would give up anything, do anything, to make you happy and to help you succeed in this life. As this life can be so difficult at times. I want you to know that no matter what happens in the future, or what decisions you make, your daddy and I will be there to help you. You will never be alone.


Thank you for making my life so much more meaningful than I could have imagined.

Love you always,

Momma