With my son, I will NOT

Spank him.

Call him names.

Threaten never to speak to him again.

I will never stop apologizing when I'm wrong.

Use guilt or pull the "mom" card with him.

Turn my back on him in times of need or otherwise.

Make him feel as if he is not wanted or a bother to me.

Judge him.

Put my needs OR wants above his.

Criticize his wife or speak unkindly of her to him.

Force him to play sports.

Give him alcohol.

Make him feel as if he should marry a girl because she is pregnant.

Live vicariously through him.

Treat him differently than any future siblings.

Deny him a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, an open mind, or unconditional love.

I know it's hard to say never, but I hope that I have learned from my childhood & past & I hope to correct those mistakes with my own son.

In a world so full of hatefulness and hurt, I just want him to feel secure, loved and accepted.

Hello...Monday

Every Monday, I'll be doing a weigh in... So, just to recap my weekend, I had a few slip-ups in the food department, but not too bad and I stayed within my calorie range pretty good. Today, I'm weighing in at 120.8 lbs! Yay! I met my goal for last week, which means my new goal for this week is 118.8. Hopefully I'll have that accomplished by Sunday.


I really must give a special thanks to the best husband in the world. He worked out with me 6 times last week. Yes, 6 times. And the man doesn’t have any weight to lose, at all. It's all toning for him I suppose, but he does it for me mostly. Which is awesome, who could ask for more?

Every time we go on our jogs I'm just amazed at how beautiful the little town we live in is. We live out of town, in the "country", and the back roads are just lovely. You can smell the crisp scent of spring in the air as we walk/jog down rolling paved roads, everything is green and wildflowers grow in the open fields abundantly. I always stop and pick Aden a couple, which he loves.

He gets the curls from me.


Happy Monday!!

Vanity Pounds

The baby weight is still here. 17 lbs of it to be exact. While I'm considered to be well within "normal" for my weight regarding my age and height, I don't feel normal.

So, I've started a low calorie diet that includes walk/jogging 5 days a week. I try to stay under 1200 calories a day with about half and hour of exercise. It's working so far. In December I was at 129, today I'm at 122, progress I suppose. But, we have a vacation planned in six weeks and I've set a goal of 2-3 lbs to lose every 7 days.

It's going to be hard. I'm not used to not being able to eat whatever I want. Hell, in high school I struggled to gain weight at 90 lbs soaking wet, completely different ball game now.

I'm ready, let's burn some belly fat!!

Here's a pic of the new bathing suit I've ordered and my main motivation. Yeah, It's vain of me, but not as vain as wanting to pay off my debt in the next two years in order to buy a  nice set of silicone C cup boobs? Eh? That's what I'm doing next in the vanity department after I obtain my flat stomach.

The "Sperminator"

Okay, after hearing countless stories about the "Sperminator", aka Schwarzenegger, and his "cheating" escapades, it got me to thinking. Why is it so effin difficult for people to just stay faithful? We hear about all the scandals that come from big celebrity names, but it happens everyday, to everyday people. Cheating has horrible affects on EVERYONE, especially when children are involved. I know for a fact that some people, mainly women, think it's just peachy to cheat and they'll get away with it because they have children to use as "collateral". Think again, people. If you will truly have SEX with another human being while you are in a committed relationship, than you don't truly love that person and should have called it off way before that ship ever thought about sailing.

I get it, relationships are difficult, but they're worth it. To have someone to love forever, to grow old with and share your life with, to have babies and grand babies together, isn't that worth it?


I'll be the first person to say that you really cant say you'd do something differently than another person has done, until you are put in their shoes, which of course you'll never be. But, this is one subject that I have seen, first hand, the devastation that comes from cheating significant others, and I can firmly say, I wouldn't do it. And if for some crazy, off the wall reason, I did, I wouldn't keep it from my husband. Which, I can also say with very strong conviction that if I did, my husband would leave me and I wouldn't blame him one bit because I would do that same, if the situation was reversed. The reason I say that is because if my husband was to betray me in such a horrible way, I could never get over it. It is the ultimate betrayal, hands down.

My husband and I actually started dating as teenagers after EACH of our then current "boy/girl-friends" cheated on us. Even then, being so young, it was such a horrible betrayal for both of us. Which maybe that's why we see eye to eye on that matter 100%.


In ending, I'd just like to say, feel the need for another? Seek some counselling to find out what the true meaning of your wandering eye is about. If that doesn't help? Save alot of hurt feelings, be the bigger person, and ask for the split.

In which I talk about the major sucking of this blog..

I did it. I let all the negative crap going on push me away from things I love doing. Riding? Eh, not much.. Blogging? Eh..pretty much fell off the map.

It's cool though..I've got some things on my mind...just a few. And I plan to write about it. Why? Because I have no shame. So, I'm giving fair warning to family and friends that read this (hopefully someone does), if you don't care to read about my sex life, weight loss, family issues, daycare issues..this wont be your cup of tea. Kthx

P.S. Yes, I still plan to spill my guts about Aden too, soon.

Feel the tide turning

I feel the tide turning... I look to the future and know that there are great things ahead. I have to believe that good people get what they deserve and that there is justice in this world. No more worrying and waiting. It's done and over, we will do what we feel is best, as we've always done.


I'm at peace knowing that I have so many blessings in my life. All the hard work will pay off. It already has. Everything I've ever dreamt for is what I already have, I'm embracing it.

Life is hard. Life as a full time working mother is harder. But, I've come to realize that by working, I'm able to give Aden things he wouldn’t other wise have. I don’t mean material things such as toys and clothes, although those things are nice too. I mean James and I are able to provide him with a home in a great school district, without both of our incomes, that simply would not be possible. So, if I'm working to simply pay for a home and the other very basic needs of our family, I'm okay with that.

Even though I'm working all those hours, at the end of the day, when I go to pick him up, I hear him run to the door saying "Mama Mama Mama” and it's all worth it.

There are things that get put on the back burner when you are as busy as we are. For instance.... the relationship that you had with your husband, before mother/fatherhood was in the picture. I'm proud to say that my relationship with my wonderful, handsome husband is alive and thriving. We made a conscious decision to make time for each other, and to make the time we get alone count. And it's working, we have lunch at the park together when the weather is nice, we make the time we have in the car to and from work count... We just took a step back from all the stress to see the bigger picture and the reason for it all...our love.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is.....

Screw the B/S from situations we can not control.

 It's okay to be a working mother, my son still loves me and I'm still his favorite person no matter what.

Making time to nurture and care for the love that brought this all together is well worth it..


Like falling in love all over again.

Yeah, Yeah, so the baby was "Big" Whatever..

After much research regarding the whole *birthing* process, I look back on my birth experience and think WTF. I mean really, I had no clue that doctors would use scare tactics on you to convince you one way or the other that during your labor you will need countless interventions and ultimately end up with a C-section. I think they secretly think **yessss** when your ultrasound predicts you're growing a "large" baby. That way if your labor stalls and you don't produce the required 1 cm per hour they can just chalk it up to the baby being too **big**, call for a c-section, and call it a day.


I hate that.

Coming to that conclusion was very difficult for me to accept. I mean the doctor I **still** see is a fabulous and caring person. He is quite possibly the most charismatic person I've ever encountered. He's even my freakin facebook friend. He makes you love him. I would love to see him with my next pregnancy, but I ain't gonna.

Now, looking at his C-section rate, it makes me sick. He's one of the highest around. I know exactly what would happen shall I see him with my next pregnancy.

Next time, I want a med-free, all natural, VAGINAL birth or in my case a VBAC. I want to push my baby out, regardless of the *size*, have him/her thrown on my stomach, be able to nurse right away and go home within the standard 2 days and not worry about all the obstables that comes from giving birth via C-section. As opposed to having drugs injected into your spine, feeling like you cant breathe while the doctor cuts your baby out, wait almost an hour before you can breastfeed, feel like a horrible failure, and stay 4 days in the hospital to then go home and spend WEEKS recovering from major abdominal surgery. Not to mention all the *risk* that go along with that surgery and the future *risk* it could very well cause with future pregnancies.

I want a vaginal delivery. It's my god given right as a woman.


I guess what I'm trying to say is next time, I'm going to trust my body first and the doctor second.


Happy Friday! Looking forward to following some new blogs!