Thanksgiving

It's coming so fast this year. It seems like it was just yesterday Aden was 11 wks old and I had to drag my Unwilling butt back to work. Now, he's 16 months old and about to enjoy his second Thanksgiving. I love this holiday. My family does it BIG every year. Tons of great food, movies and games of football in the yard.

This year we're having it at my house. Which I'm excited and nervous about. Hopefully everything will live up to all the other wonderful Thanksgiving's we've had at Krystal's house. I've decided to take off the entire week this year. James and I have some things we'd like to complete at the house before the big day. Like the kitchen cabinets. They're horrible and plain right now. We hope to have the time to re-paint and put new hardware up. Martha Stewart has some awesome collections at HD.

I'm also so very excited to meet our newest addition, baby Connor, oh I cant wait to hold him. I feel just terrible I haven't seen him yet, hopefully he'll forgive his aunt Brynn. But, in my defense, I've been sick on and off with colds for the last month!

Oh, the joys of toddler hood! The rate in which time is moving now is un-real. Being a full time working mother I feel as if his entire infancy was like sand through my fingers and now I'm feeling the same about his toddler-hood. The one thing that hasn't changed is the nursing. That boy loves to nurse. I'm trying to slowly wean him but it's just not working very well. On average he still wakes at least twice at night to nurse. I'm tired. I hope to completely have him weaned AT LEAST by the time he is two. Let's just keep our fingers crossed.

I have so many things to be grateful for this year. A wonderful healthy, happy family, a baby-sitter that is absolutely wonderful with Aden, a lovely home in the country and a career that has been stable for both James and I. Things aren't perfect of course. There are things I'd love to change but at this moment I am content.

2009 Thanksgiving

Our ten year anniversary is coming up in December. It's been a long road, full times trying times. We've had more than our fair share of struggles, all of which have molded James and I into who we are today. I wouldn't take any of it back. And now it seems our relationship is growing more and more solid with each day that passes. Marriage is very hard work, but anything that is worth having always comes with hard work.

And I don't mind that one bit.

Halloween

Halloween was a blast! Aden went as a scarecrow and had tons of fun trick or treating around the neighborhood with his cousins!

There was only two missing! Lillian and Connor!

Aden is now 16 months old! He astonishes me every day with how incredibly smart he is. He uses the potty every night before bath time. He has now successfully peed 7 times in the potty and has made a number 2 once! I am amazed that he can do this on command. Really, I sit him on his potty and tell him "okay, time to pee pee or poo poo" and he looks down, concentrates, then goes. It is the coolest. thing. ever. Last night he did something new, after he peed, he pointed at the toilet paper. James gave him a piece and he reached down and wiped himself. HA, yes, I know, my kid's a freaking genius. Such a genius that he has already picked up some nice phrases, like he was talking to Mi Mi on the phone and told her to "shut up", yeah I take no responsibility for that people.

Let's see, words he can now say include, Mama, Dada, dog, Bo, Eyes, Ear, Nose, Bath, NO, Yeah, Bye, Hi, Hello, Tractor, Fish, Door, and I'm sure I'm missing many more.

This kid is accident prone though. Last weekend he fell and hit his mouth on the side of the TV. He was trying to plug up the cord to the back of the TV to play baby Einstein, when he slipped and fell. His tooth went ALL. THE. WAY. THROUGH. his bottom lip. James did a little hyperventilating. He's tough though. I have a feeling this is just the beginning. I have images of him riding Freckles bareback at a full gallop yelling "watch this mom"..... Yeah, I think I can feel a gray hair pushing it's way through right now...

And now, on to the holidays......

Welcome to the world!

Connor Tyler Knittle was born yesterday, October 11, 2010 weighing in at 8 lbs even. I'm such a proud Aunt and cannot wait to meet this darling little boy. Ambers' labor was 22 hrs long, everything went very smoothly and after an hour of pushing Connor was born! He is the most handsome little man. As you can obviously see....

He looks like Amber to me, but I see Tyler in him too. Ahhhh babies are what make life worth living. Congrats to the proud Momma & Daddy. They are going to be wonderful parents. He is already loved so  much.

I haven't been blogging like I should. I mean, this is my journal for Aden and I need to keep up with it more. We've cut out having Internet at home so it makes blogging very difficult! Anyway, Aden is growing up so much. He tries to copy everything we're saying. I bought him a Halloween, spider blanket, and I pointed at the spider and said "Spider, Aden" and he said "SPWIWER" or something similar sounding.

 He had his 15 mo appointment yesterday. Three shots. Ughhh. That never gets easy. In fact, as they get older and more aware of what's going on, I believe it may be more difficult! Doctor said he is at a 20 mo level in his development. Down to 50 % on weight, still 75 % height and of course 98 % head circumference. No wonder it took him till 13 mos to learn to walk, his huge head is hard to balance! Big head === Big brains.

And here are some pictures from the last couple of months.

My little prince.

Misc. Ramblings

Ahhhh, the weekend is near! Only a little under three hours until we set out on our hour-long drive home and begin our three day weekend. What's the plans? Well, we are going to the Fort Worth Zoo tomorrow, which I'm excited about. I cant wait to see how Aden reacts to it. Although he pretty much has a zoo at home. Dogs, Horses, Goats and one Donkey all within sight if you peek out our backdoor. Maybe I'll edit with pics this weekend.

The fog I've been in lately has started to lift and I can see slices of light peaking through. I would like to hit up the local Barnes and Nobles for some parenting books. See, from what I read, the stage that Aden has now entered is normal for his age (14 mos). But that doesn't mean its acceptable. He has taken a liking to slapping, pinching and biting. He thinks it's funny. Which sometimes, I'll admit, it's funny as shit when he bites James on the leg, not so much when it's my nipple. Anyway, so I figure a little parenting help is always good. I really don't know much else to do besides what I'm doing now, which is telling him "No, that hurts Mama, no biting." Then he proceeds to bite me again. I can tell you one thing. Thank god for the fact that I waited until the age I am now to have children. Could I have handled it at a much younger age? probably. would I had made the proper parenting decisions and given my child the tools to succeed in life, including that much needed area : discipline? I highly doubt it.

I have scheduled for new pictures of Aden to be made on Monday.  I cant wait to see how they come out. I was going to try and re-create his missed 12 mo shoot, but I'm going to just pick a couple of outfits and go with the flow. I have a really cute cowboy hat I hope we get some good ones with.

Hindsight is 20 20

As I sit at my desk, day after day, I ALWAYS question what on earth I was thinking...I mean really!?! Before I got pregnant my biggest worry was if I'd be able to make it to the barn to ride before dark......or if I'd be ready for my Martha Josey barrel racing clinic....Now, I fight back the urge to break down and cry when I call to check on my baby and he's fussing in the back ground.

I hate it. I hate that I cant be there to nurse him to sleep, like he loves to do. I hate that I cant be there to teach him his words, shapes and colors. I hate even more that I worry that he'll be behind because of those things. Don't get me wrong, I do my best after working all day to come home and spend quality time doing those things. It's hard and if I'm spending all my free time making up for lost time with Aden, I don't have time to do other things. Like work around the house or ride Shasta. I have a wonderful barrel horse, in a pasture, outside my back door and I cant seem to find time to ride. How would I justify spending more time away for my baby boy?

I've found a wonderful, lovely lady, that is more than willing to help me haul to playdays and barrel races, all I need to do is do it....I mean that doesn't come along very often. So why don't I suck it up and do it?  Well, here's why, even after riding and feeling like the barrel racing goal is becoming closer, who I want to be as a mother slips further away...I don't want to be that mother, the mother who chooses horses, or whatever it is, over time with her children. I feel the need to delete this post, because I feel like I'm complaining and taking everything I have for granted..but I wont apologize for being human, or for wanting to be a better person.

Yes, I decided not to sell Shasta. I thought letting her go would be easy. I thought it might even be a relief. I was wrong. I cried and begged James to do something, to somehow open that magical door he possesses and make things better. I kept her. I even started riding a bit and making new goals for myself, then the guilt sets in. The - I- don't- want- to - be -selfish- guilt. James tells me that it's not selfish and that I need time for myself, I know he's right. It doesn't change the overwhelming joy I feel on the weekends when I spend 24-7 with Aden, and the overwhelming despair I feel when I'm without him.

So, I'm going to feel sorry for myself for a minute.  I'm going to envy all the stay at home moms that get to kiss their babies when they want to. I'm going to feel sorry for all the missed time, the unfinished baby book, the photos that still haven't been hung on the wall or sent out to family, the half-painted room and the fights I pick with James because, after all, it's his fault. (<----Sarcasm for the thick headed a**holes that read this.)

I know one thing, what I'm feeling right now goes away. As soon as I get home and see him it all goes away. Everything I'm feeling now fades and I'm happy. I feed him dinner and even "junk" sometimes:

And yes, I upload pics from my phone, because...you guessed it...I just don't have time to mess with my camera.

AND, Aden took 5 steps yesterday. To me and no-one else.

Wordless Wednesday

The watermelon from our garden.

Every little thing....

Reminds me of how quickly Aden is growing up. My little sister is having a baby. This past weekend we all went to Houston for her baby shower. Saturday we went with Amber and Ty to help them with their maternity pics. They came out awesome! It's just so weird to think that last year just a few months prior Amber was in Dallas helping me with MY maternity pics. Funny how life works out like that. Aden and Connor will only be 1 year and 3 mos apart! It's just too bad we live 4 1/2 hrs away!

I'm happy for them though. They have so many people down there that are going to help them in such HUGE ways. Really, I don't think they'll realize just how much that's going to mean in a few months. It's good to know they wont want for a baby sitter, that's for sure! Mr. Connor is the first grand baby down there, so he's going to be SPOILED! Just how God intended babies to be. It was also great to see some of our family that live close to Houston that we don't get to see very often.

On another note, December has been weighing on my mind. In December it will be 10 years that James and I have been together. Yes, we have always celebrated that date. The date we fell in love. It just seems rights since we never had an actual "wedding". I always said on our ten year I wanted to have a real wedding! Doesn't look like that will happen but I'm so happy that we've made it this far and have accomplished this much together. Our love has been the glue that keeps us together, year after year. Hopefully we can think of a nice way to celebrate it this year!