It was November 1st, 2008, a Saturday. I had missed my monthly by about a week. Which is pretty uncommon for me. You could say that we had started to not, not try to get pregnant only a month before. I had no idea that I would get pregnant so quickly. Due to a previous experience when I was 17 I was somehow convinced that the D&C that had been preformed had some ill effect on me since it had been 8 yrs and no babies. But James and I were very careful for those previous 8 yrs. Yes, when I was 17 (James and I had been together about a year) we got pregnant. Let's rewind for a moment: I was a Senior in high school and we were very worried about what we had done. That didn't stop us from (after the initial shock) being very happy about it. I had bad morning sickness with that pregnancy. Which sadly did not last. I guess you could say given my age and situation that it was for the best..I however don't think any lost baby is "for the best" not when you're on the receiving end of it. I remember that day like it was yesterday. We went into the OB and after going over the paper work end we went into the Sonogram room. My mom and James were there with me. At first, the doctor started explaining what we were seeing and taking measurements of the baby. It looked like a little peanut. Then she turned on the sound and zoomed in on the baby. A look of intense concentration and worry immediately came over her face. I knew then something was very wrong. James had my hand and he gave it a gentle squeeze. After what seemed like forever she said the words "No heart Beat" and "I'm sorry". I'm sure at that moment my heart broke in two. Everything after that is a blur..My doctor was explaining that we could just wait for nature to take its natural course and that is should happen within a few days. Well a few days turned into a week which turned into a slight fever which turned into a D&C. They call it a missed miscarriage. Your body doesn't know that the baby is not alive. If I didn't get the baby out it would lead to infection and possible infertility. I called the doctor and due to my fever the doctor suggested a D&C asap. To tell you the truth part of me was relieved that I'd be put to sleep and wouldnt have to witness my baby come out.
Needless to say all of this flooded back into my mind when I saw the two pink lines that day. Of course the first person I told was James, and of course he was over joyed. I scheduled an appointment with a new OB Dr. Garrett Garner. He had delivered my sister Krystal's son Wyatt about a year before. Everyone loves this guy!! He is by far the most upbeat, HAPPIEST person you will ever meet! I was VERY concerned about having a male OB. Turns out to be the best decision we could have made. I had found out about my pregnancy very early on. We went into see him about two weeks later and I was only 5 wks along. We did the ultrasound and the fetal pole had barely started to form...which meant no heartbeat was there yet! All I wanted was to see the heartbeat. It was torture when they told us to come back in a month! During that time at home I started to spot and cramp. I broke down sobbing hysterically and called Dr. Garner. He told me it could be nothing or it could be another miscarriage we just had to wait and see. I spotted on and off up to our next appointment. To our surprise there he was just hanging out. Heartbeat and all. I was 8 wks along. I was in love.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Conflicted
So many things have changed since Aden entered my world. There was a time when I thought that horses were the very most important thing (second to James of course) to me. Don't get me wrong I still love both of our horses deeply but I'm conflicted. It seems that it's not financially feasible to keep both of them anymore. My horse Shasta is a barrel horse. I had big dreams and plans to run barrels on her. That cant come into reality for at least a few years. So I've decided once again to sell. Here's a pic of my other "baby".I love her.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Learning to blog
I thought that having a blog for relatives to look at as well as me to look back on would be beneficial. I really wish I had kept a pregnancy journal! Now, Aden is almost a year old and his baby book is even lacking!! Better late than never I guess. Now to just figure this thing out!! :-0
My life up to now - In a nutshell
Well, lets see...I met my husband James when I was 16 & we've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. I know cheesy but that fact doesn't make life or marriage easy! It's tough!! We are best friends & Partners in crime. We love to go fishing and ride our horses! For the majority of our time together we have worked very hard to get to where we are. Nothing was given to us. Which as I look back, I wouldn't change a thing. We have a lovely home and the sweetest 10 mo old baby boy alive. Aden was born July 6th, 09. He was 9 lbs 13oz 19 inches..Yes he was a BIG baby! And coming from my 5 ft 105 pre-pregnancy body was not expected. I knew toward the end of my pregnancy that I was uncomfortable due to his size..but my doctor said about 8lbs. Which would have been a big baby for me anyway. I just want to add that I have the most wonderful doctor on the face of the planet and I love him dearly!! Dr. Garrett Garner is THE MAN! Which I didn't think so when I was in labor for almost three days before he had to cut Mr. Aden out. I'll never forget the moment Aden was born. The doctors and nurses scared the crap out of us! They were all gasping and yelling about how big his head was. Dr. Garner said "I think you're going to need an episiotomy for your c-section incision." Yeah, that's a big head. Everyone was throwing out guesses on his weight as James and I stared in disbelieve at our gigantic baby. Bruto, the nurse called him. Fast forward 10 mos & 2 wks : Aden is growing like crazy still a big boy; in the 90% - 100 % percentile. Has 12 teeth - 8 on top 4 on bottom with two more coming through. Cruising along the furniture and momentarily standing alone. He is the happiest baby. I guess my blog will continue to try and recapture his first 10 mos of life...At least the major events anyway.
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