Monday, June 28, 2010

A letter to my son

My Dearest Aden,

I admit, I've been procrastinating about planning for your first birthday party. It's just I never dreamed you turning one would be so difficult for me to accept. Bittersweet indeed. Every time I go to plan the theme, cake, presents, a huge lump forms in my throat and my eyes sting with the promise of tears.

I know by the time you're old enough to read this you're gagging about now, you're welcome. :-)

This year has been such a whirlwind of events with you. From your very first cry to the moment you latched on to nurse or the first time you rolled over, crawled, stood up, cruised and spoke your first words...Oh and have you been talking lately. Some of your words include Mama, Dada, Ball, Dog, Bo (trying @ Bochephus) Hello, Hi, Yeah, No, and I could swore you told me "off" yesterday as I smothered you with kisses and you pushed me away. Oh, you do have the little attitude. You will share your kisses only when you want. Other times you will stiff arm the oncoming kiss and quickly turn your head. I guess you're living up to your name, Aden, which means little fire. But sweet and happy you are, the sweetest baby. I don't know how your daddy and I got so lucky. Even when you were in the hospital when you were 8 mos old with pneumonia, you would smile and laugh. That smile of yours could light up the world and always lights my heart. When I see that smile and hear your laugh all is right with the world.

I want you to know that this first year of your life has been the happiest of mine. I know I can speak for your daddy and say that it has been happiness we could not have fathomed. Everyone that has had the pleasure to meet you has fallen in love. Grandma Kathy loves to tell you "You're Grandma's baby now aren't you?" and you love to answer back with that big toothy grin. Yes, by your first birthday you will have 16 teeth! Daddy swears it's from all the good tit-ta milk. Speaking of milk, we're still nursing! I'm so very proud to have nursed you the first year of your life.  I have enjoyed it. I love the way you cling onto my shirt or bra strap and rub back and forth while you look up at me and nurse. I love the way when I run my finger down your side and you crack that big smile and laugh breaking your latch, then quickly latch back on. I love how relaxed you are when you finish nursing that you lay your head on my stomach, giving me hugs.

Now, you're becoming a toddler. No longer completely dependent on your daddy and I. You can feed yourself most of anything, actually getting pretty good at using utensils. Your favorite foods are fish sticks, green beans, bananas and of course pizza! Yesterday you stood up on your own without any help from furniture to pull up on and stood for several seconds before you realized there was nothing to help you stay up and down you went. Walking is just moments away. 

That's the way I feel this year has went by in just moments rather than days or weeks or months. One incredible proud moment to the next. Your daddy and I are so proud of you. We always say that we could have not possibly made a finer specimen of a little boy!  You are so happy all of the time. It's contagious. You make me want to be a better person. While I say goodbye to your first year and the infant that you were, I say hello to all the new moments and miracles that are yet to come. I will do my best to protect you from harm, but let you explore and enjoy life at the same time. Your father and I will show you how to fish, ride horses and make new friends. We'll teach you how to be brave and stand up for what you believe in. We'll teach you to be kind and understanding. We have so much planned for you in the years to come.

Please always remember, my sweet baby boy, mama and daddy love you no matter what happens or how many years pass. Our love for you is never ending and grows deeper with each breath we take.

Love you always,


Friday, June 25, 2010

I love Summer!

We are now enjoying the fruits of our labor.

The garden is producing purple hull peas & tomatoes!

 Next up: Jalapenos, Bell peppers, onions, potatoes, green beans and watermelon! Hopefully...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Thankful on Thursday!

Today I'm thankful for....

A day off's my B-day weekend!

That first thing in the morning Aden only wants me, no one else will do, not even daddy.

I have a husband that makes me laugh and makes me happy.

The sweet smell of horses when I walk out my back door.

Home grown Tomatoes

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Look for the good in people

I want to raise my son in a loving environment and teach him to always look for the good in people, which I have a hard time doing myself sometimes. I feel like I've been doing a pretty good job lately of giving people the benefit of a doubt and keep any judgement that might come slipping into my head at bay. I don't pretend to be perfect, but I'm also not a snob, that turns her nose up at people whom are different, or didn't spell a word correctly or use proper grammar. Heck, I'm sure anyone that reads my blog will see that I'm no English major!
 I wish I was more like my husband. He never has anything bad to say about anyone.  Any new managers or employees he has at work, he always says: "he/she seems pretty cool to me" or something equally positive and happy go lucky. Let me tell you, my husband is tough  to make angry (with the exception of me, I know exactly how to make him angry quickly! It's a talent I have). I've witnessed first hand people that have treated him horribly and my heart ached for him, was angry for him. As always, he is very quick to forgive & forget and invite them back in with open arms.

I'm going to work hard to try and conform to that way of living. I mean, what does going around judging everyone really get you? An ulcer? Friendless? Old & Lonely? I read a quote last night that I really like "Do not fear death, but the un-lived life", it makes perfect sense to me. How can you truly enjoy life until you can accept the people around you, good or bad and always give them the benefit of a doubt? There's never a reason to hurt someones feelings or look down on them just because of the way they look, or something they may have said, or their reputation, no one is perfect. I want to teach Aden to love deeply and forgive quickly. To be like his daddy, whom just the other day while we were driving home saw a man trying to push his broken down car out of the street alone, while everyone else whipped around him my sweet husband stopped, put the flashers on and ran to help him push it up a hill and into the shopping center.

It's hard, like all of us, I've had people treat me badly for no good reason. For years I resented it, after all I was RIGHT. In the end it doesn't matter and I'd rather not go to my grave with a heavy heart or live another day being angry at them for treating me unjustly. I've forgiven these people, even when there was never an apology offered. I want to teach Aden to do that same. Hopefully it wont take him years to understand it like it did me. Maybe it'll come easily to him like it does to his daddy.

As Fathers Day approaches I'm so thankful to have such a good daddy for my son. Although I don't always sing my husbands praises, and sometimes we fight like mad, I love and appreciate his gentle and caring nature and hope he passes that to our son.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Sick baby and tired Mama

My poor lil man is sick...again! Grandma called me yesterday to let me know Aden was running a 100.4 fever, so I took off work to take him to the Doc. They did a swab for strep (thank god he didn't have that..AGAIN) and took a little blood sample, it's viral. So nothing to do but give him lots of love and hope it passes soon.

I'm tired of him being sick. Every time I take him to the doctor they ask me, is he in daycare? No, but he is with his three older cousins during the day, two of them school aged. I consider it a huge blessing that he is able to play with his cousins everyday. Most of the time anyway, wasn't to thrilled that Wyatt pushed Aden off the couch yesterday! Thank the heavens Aden didn't get hurt badly (hard wood floors = ouch). Boys will be boys, and he's gonna grow up tough, I don't think he has an option in the matter. We always say that's why he was born 10 lbs, he knew in the womb that he better come out a fighter to keep up with the Jacob boys (all of whom are very large for their ages over the 100 percentile)!

Hopefully this virus passes quickly and in time for Fathers day. We're thinking about a day at the pool, with the Jacob boys!

I've been procrastinating on Aden's 1st baby is going to be one is just a few short weeks. I've decided to throw the big 1st B-day party at our house, on the 4th of July, slip n slid for the kids, barbecue and fire works for everyone. That's another good thing about living in the country, we're able to pop fire works. I guess I better get started on all the plans..theme..Baby Einstein!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

14 teeth

that's how many teeth Aden has now! Yesterday he was pretty miserable with the last two poking their way through. Now, he should be DONE until his two year molars come through...which he got all his other teeth WAY sooner that he was supposed to I wouldn't doubt that those come through any day now.

Here's a good pic of hims teefers: The two on the bottom have now come through

On another note, I've been making a "budget" for us like crazy. Decided to sell both of the horses until we pay off some debt. I'd like to be debt free in two - three years (not included the mortgage) and that just wont do with two horses. You know those things eat like...well...HORSES. LOL But really the added expense in farrier, shots, worming, feed, hay...Not that we don't plan to buy horses again. I do, and I plan to rodeo as well. I hope Aden will too. In the mean time, after we sell both horses, I plan to take maybe a lesson a  know to get my horse fix. It will be strange, taking lessons, after owning for the past four years. Anyway, back to the budget. I plan to spend money on NOTHING. Start clipping coupons, shopping @ second hand clothing stores, hair cuts @ the local beauty school, anything to pay off this debt. I want another baby in a few years and I'll be able to stay home for a year, if we pay off some things like credit cards, loans and our car payment. It'll be hard but I'm ready!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Mondays are the PITS!!

After all weekend of being in sweet little country family's back to work! Ugh, Mondays are so difficult. Especially when I call to check up on Aden & all I hear in the background is him screaming his head off, and he doesn't cry...ever! It's all I can do to keep myself from flying out of the office and driving down 635 @ 100 miles an hour to hold & comfort my baby. He's better now at least, something happened with the bites, but something scared my wittle baby. :-(

Well here is my baby baby after his bath: ( he loves to kick us to death when we try to clothe him)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Aden playing

Just Aden playing.

New Milestone!

Aden is trying to eat using his spoon! He still gets frustrated and resorts to his fingers though. :-)

We have a new puppy....

 I don't know what I was thinking when I thought a PUPPY was a good idea for Aden. Between my shoes being destroyed, trying to potty train and keep Aden from ripping his head off...ughhh. Oh well at least he's cute. Here's Aden and Bochepus.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Reasons why I love living in the COUNTRY!!

1. Land...It's in my bones! I hate the city and driving 45 minutes to my heaven everyday is well worth it.
2. Endless options..Not only do I have a million different ideas about how to landscape my HUGE front and backyard, I have a small pasture for horses and an place for my very own veggie garden. We hope to make it larger next year and keep it going thereafter.
3. Raising Aden: The schools are Exemplary!
4. Values: We plan to teach Aden to work for what he in the country he'll mow yards, clean stalls, weed gardens..the list goes on and on. Plus he'll have an opportunity to get involved with horses & rodeo if he wishes to.

 Although Aden cant help weed and water yet, he's pretty good at chewing on random rocks and eating clumps of dirt.. Here's the garden

Before (In early April)

Now: End of May

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Two different people..

Is what I feel like sometimes. Before Aden I had an unlimited amount of freedom that allowed me to do the things I working to become the best rider I can be, learning to barrel race, going on fishing trips with my husband..I don't think anyone can ever understand just how much freedom is gone when you have a baby. I feel torn between the person I was and the person I am now, every day..There's the mother that wants nothing more than to spend every minute with Aden and be totally consumed by the blessing that he is. The person that would sell both of the horses to make it financially feasible to have another baby in a few years.. Most of the time, more often than not, this is who I am.

But my other side tries to escape. The side that wants to ride every day and start on barrels again. The side that would like one day to just go fishing. I understand that there are people out there that have family members that take their kids for entire weekends to give mom and dad a break. We're not one of those families. And to tell you the truth I don't think I'd want Aden gone all weekend, I'm at work 12 hrs a day as it is. I guess sometimes I would like to be just one person. I wish I didn't have an overwhelming need to ride horses. They give me freedom every time I climb on. My worries melt away in the saddle. On the other hand riding around in my small pasture is depressing and offers no challenge. I've advanced beyond the point of riding around for fun..I want more. Reality is I cant have that right now. And 90 % of the time I'm totally happy with hanging out at home with James and Aden. Right now I just have to come to terms with the fact that I cant have both. Both people cant exist..not on our budget anyway. LOL

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Aden had his first.....

TEMPER TANTRUM yesterday evening. Ever since the new puppy arrived, he wont stay out of his water & food bowl. Mr. Bocephus (our new puppy) was trying to get himself a sip of water but nooo Aden stiff arms Bocephus right out of the way in order to "splash" in the water...using dads pen I might add. Soo I figured Aden needed to learn that the bowls weren't for playing in. I picked him up & carried him to his play mat while saying "that water is nasty Aden, come play over here". Of course Aden burns out crawling as fast as he can back to the water. We play this game about three times and on the fourth try I put Aden down and he losses it. Screaming and crying and kicking his feet. I couldn't help but laugh. I held my arms out to see if he wanted to come to me (which he ALWAYS does) he kept waving my hands away and shaking his head NO while turning red. That lasted about two minutes. He got over it and insisted on some boobie to make up for it.

Daddy came and got him a little later and took him to the room to play while I cooked dinner. James tells me that Aden goes right over to the outlets and starts hard to work on trying to remove the plug covers. We assume a 11 month old baby couldn't possibly take those things out...right?? I mean that's what they are meant to do, be too difficult for babies to remove therefore protecting the child from inserting their fingers into outlets...Apparently not! Aden spends about 10 minutes "working" on the covers...Do babies really have attention spans that long?? Guess so, because he gets one off, puts it into his lap, and starts to clap his hands while smiling at daddy! WTF...must be a fluke right? Nope he immediately turns and takes off the second one...much quicker that time I might add..

And this already at 11 months. Which reminds me, Aden is almost a year old. WOW. I really have no words.

Videos of Adens First Year

Here are some videos of Aden's first year in order below. Enjoy!

Aden Watching Einstein

Adens first year 419.avi

Adens first year 623.avi

Adens first year 992.avi

Adens first year 995.avi

Adens first year 997.avi

Adens first year 998.avi

Adens first year 999.avi

Adens first year 1128.avi

Adens first year 1320.avi

Adens first year 1495.avi

Adens first year 1533.avi

Adens first year 195.avi

Monday, June 7, 2010

A Baby Story

During my pregnancy I must have watched every Baby Story and Deliver Me episode there was! I never get tired of watching the whole pregnancy and birth experience, it's fascinating to me! Here's my "Baby Story":

During my 8th month of pregnancy I developed an extreme case of PUPPS. It's pretty much a horrible allergic reaction to pregnancy (usually when you're having a boy) that causes extremely itchy hives to erupt all over your body. The only "cure" is delivery. Actually mine didn't go away until after 4 months PP and heavy doses of steroids!! Anyway, to say the least it was the most agonising, itchy, painful, experience of my life...and that included two days of natural labor pains! I was actually induced two days before my due date because of this horrible condition. I was the lucky 1% of all pregnancy women to have this lovely rash. The itch you feel 24/7 is unbelievable, nothing helps, I tried everything! Anyone that's ever had PUPPS knows what I'm talking about...

I was induced on the evening of the 4th of July. At first the nurse administered some cervidil to soften my cervix and hopefully get the ball rolling. I was already 1 cm dilated & "soft" for the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy so I started contracting within hours of the cervidil. Which led to a pretty restless night. The nurse came in the morning and started me up on some pitocin to help regulate my contractions. Doc came in the morning to check me. Said with the contractions I'd been having I should at least be @ 3 cm. NOPE still 1! So, we labor some more. At this point I'd been having horrible back labor for about 8 hrs. Everyone was pretty sure that he was sunny side up and that was the reason for the back labor and no change in my cervix. I sat on a ball, rocked in the chair, anything & everything to get Mr. Aden to TURN! Doc come back in to check me again, I think around 2-3 ish and still ONE and he thinks Aden is still "floating" because when he checks me he is able to push his head and he'll float up and then rest back down. (FYI - "Checking" = torture!) Which of course means he is not properly engaged into my pelvis. In turn, is not bearing enough pressure on my cervix to cause any change (dilation). We discuss breaking my water but decide against it because the doc thought the risk of the cord coming out first is too high due to the "floating" issue. Doc says he'll be back around 5 to check my progress then. Did I mention I was going on 12 hrs of mind blowing contractions w/back labor? Yeah, no pain meds for me. James was wonderful. I would "rock" through my contractions while James applied pressure to my back. This is the only way I was able to get through the pain. Laying in a bed having contractions is ABSURD? Surely it was a MAN that invented a bed to labor in. The birthing and BF'ing classes that we attended a month before really came in handy. The gave us valuable tools in the labor process that really helped me cope and got James involved in the whole process too. What would be more irritating than laboring while your hubby watches T.V.? That was NOT going to happen with me. In fact I didn't want anyone besides James in the L&D room. It was our time to bring our baby into the world and savor the experience..painful or otherwise.

Doc comes back in @ 5 to torture me some more...turns out I was still ONE centimeter dilated! Where do we go from here? I was exhausted. I was told we had a few options.. 1. Keep going and break the water to see if that helps me progress 2. Throw in the towel and C-section or 3. Take the IV out and go home....Go home? Yes, go home and see if the baby will turn and drop properly into the canal overnight. Then we come back in the morning and start ALL OVER AGAIN... So I opt for going home and resting. That night was a blur. I was so very upset that all my dreams of a perfect vaginal delivery were slipping away and the unknown were replacing them. Through my entire pregnancy I said "I'm NOT having a C-section." Well don't they say "If you wanna make God laugh just tell him what you're doing tomorrow?" Yeah..something like that.

The next morning I'm feeling better about the whole situation. Mostly thanks to my wonderful, amazing husband that babied &  pep talked me all night. He really is my rock. Anyway, so I go in & get hooked up and I'm off to the races! Well not really... I was more of the same. Something was different this time though. Aden had turned according to the nurses and my lack of back labor. After laboring through a full 12 hrs and countless "torturing" or "checking" from my fav doctor I only dilated to 4. Around 6 pm I finally was given the okay for an epidural since I had reached the magic # 4! The epidural was not fully working for me. I complained to the nurse and the anesthesiologist came in to shoot me up with an extra dose of meds. That extra dose did a little more than I expected my entire body from the chest down went numb. I felt sick and couldn't breath, apparently that's "normal". Anyway 10 minutes later we opt for the c-section since Mr. Aden just wasn't cooperating. At that point everyone just wanted him here, safe and sound. The anesthesiologist comes in again to give me ANOTHER dose of meds in my epidural for the C-section. I refuse telling her that if I take anymore I know it will knock me out. She pinches me a couple times and agrees to let me go into surgery without any more meds. Probably not the best idea, when they started cutting I could feel it..but a little local numbing meds and I'm good to go. I'll leave off here since I've already been over the actual delivery of Aden. Here's a pic of Aden & daddy right after delivery & a video of Aden shortly after his birth, getting his first bath.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Learning to climb!

Now, not only does he try to climb the stairs at Grandmas during the day, he is climbing on EVERYTHING! We have a gate put up on the stairs @ Grandmas, but now he climbs into the dishwasher while I'm doing dishes..Also throws out everything I put in! He has now made it a point to get into the DVD shelf and throw all of the movies onto the floor, then he proceeds to open them and take out the Cd's. I cant help but smile. Yeah, I'm going to be big on discipline...LOL

Aden officially has 13 teeth at 11 months old! We were at home depot Sunday when I saw blood dripping down his mouth. The bottom right first molar had finally broken through. The molars are by far the worse!! It's amazing to me that he isn't more fussy than he is. It looks horribly painful. He has ALL of his baby teeth on top with the exception of the two second molars (don't get into they're 25-33 mos. On the bottom he has all of his central & lateral incisors but for some reason his molars are coming in BEFORE his canines...weird..

Little Boys:
Little boys come in all shapes and sizes,
Shy and adventurous, full of surprises,
With misshapen halos and mischievous grins,
Small dirty faces, and sweet, sticky chines.
They'll keep you so busy, and yet all the while
Nothing can brighten the world like their smile.
And no greater treasure has brought homes more joy
Than a curious, active, and lovable boy!