17 Month letter

My dearest Aden,

You are now 17 months old! You've grown into an active toddler right before my eyes. Your infancy went by so quickly I find myself struggling to remember the sweet baby sounds that you used to make or exactly how you looked and changed each month as you grew older. Thank goodness for camera's right? Although I've been falling behind on that job lately, seems there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish all I set out to do. Yeah, I'm still a little bitter about not being able to stay home with you and enjoy each and every minute. So I make the time I do get quality and spoil you as much as I can.

 Speaking of spoiling.....It's Christmas time again. Your first Christmas, last year, you were just five months old, just rolling around starting to explore your world. Now, you are running full force through the house ((***sigh***)), yelling at the dog and following your daddy everywhere as if he hung the moon. When you wake in the  morning he is the very first person you look for. If he's not next to me in bed you yell "DAAA DA DA" until he comes in to scoop you up. I look forward to Christmas this year a great deal seeing as you will certainly be able to rip open all of your presents and show your eagerness to play with your new toys.

Your smiles and happiness are what is most important in my life now. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I would give up anything, do anything, to make you happy and to help you succeed in this life. As this life can be so difficult at times. I want you to know that no matter what happens in the future, or what decisions you make, your daddy and I will be there to help you. You will never be alone.


Thank you for making my life so much more meaningful than I could have imagined.

Love you always,

Momma

Thanksgiving

It's coming so fast this year. It seems like it was just yesterday Aden was 11 wks old and I had to drag my Unwilling butt back to work. Now, he's 16 months old and about to enjoy his second Thanksgiving. I love this holiday. My family does it BIG every year. Tons of great food, movies and games of football in the yard.

This year we're having it at my house. Which I'm excited and nervous about. Hopefully everything will live up to all the other wonderful Thanksgiving's we've had at Krystal's house. I've decided to take off the entire week this year. James and I have some things we'd like to complete at the house before the big day. Like the kitchen cabinets. They're horrible and plain right now. We hope to have the time to re-paint and put new hardware up. Martha Stewart has some awesome collections at HD.

I'm also so very excited to meet our newest addition, baby Connor, oh I cant wait to hold him. I feel just terrible I haven't seen him yet, hopefully he'll forgive his aunt Brynn. But, in my defense, I've been sick on and off with colds for the last month!

Oh, the joys of toddler hood! The rate in which time is moving now is un-real. Being a full time working mother I feel as if his entire infancy was like sand through my fingers and now I'm feeling the same about his toddler-hood. The one thing that hasn't changed is the nursing. That boy loves to nurse. I'm trying to slowly wean him but it's just not working very well. On average he still wakes at least twice at night to nurse. I'm tired. I hope to completely have him weaned AT LEAST by the time he is two. Let's just keep our fingers crossed.

I have so many things to be grateful for this year. A wonderful healthy, happy family, a baby-sitter that is absolutely wonderful with Aden, a lovely home in the country and a career that has been stable for both James and I. Things aren't perfect of course. There are things I'd love to change but at this moment I am content.

2009 Thanksgiving

Our ten year anniversary is coming up in December. It's been a long road, full times trying times. We've had more than our fair share of struggles, all of which have molded James and I into who we are today. I wouldn't take any of it back. And now it seems our relationship is growing more and more solid with each day that passes. Marriage is very hard work, but anything that is worth having always comes with hard work.

And I don't mind that one bit.

Halloween

Halloween was a blast! Aden went as a scarecrow and had tons of fun trick or treating around the neighborhood with his cousins!

There was only two missing! Lillian and Connor!

Aden is now 16 months old! He astonishes me every day with how incredibly smart he is. He uses the potty every night before bath time. He has now successfully peed 7 times in the potty and has made a number 2 once! I am amazed that he can do this on command. Really, I sit him on his potty and tell him "okay, time to pee pee or poo poo" and he looks down, concentrates, then goes. It is the coolest. thing. ever. Last night he did something new, after he peed, he pointed at the toilet paper. James gave him a piece and he reached down and wiped himself. HA, yes, I know, my kid's a freaking genius. Such a genius that he has already picked up some nice phrases, like he was talking to Mi Mi on the phone and told her to "shut up", yeah I take no responsibility for that people.

Let's see, words he can now say include, Mama, Dada, dog, Bo, Eyes, Ear, Nose, Bath, NO, Yeah, Bye, Hi, Hello, Tractor, Fish, Door, and I'm sure I'm missing many more.

This kid is accident prone though. Last weekend he fell and hit his mouth on the side of the TV. He was trying to plug up the cord to the back of the TV to play baby Einstein, when he slipped and fell. His tooth went ALL. THE. WAY. THROUGH. his bottom lip. James did a little hyperventilating. He's tough though. I have a feeling this is just the beginning. I have images of him riding Freckles bareback at a full gallop yelling "watch this mom"..... Yeah, I think I can feel a gray hair pushing it's way through right now...

And now, on to the holidays......

Welcome to the world!

Connor Tyler Knittle was born yesterday, October 11, 2010 weighing in at 8 lbs even. I'm such a proud Aunt and cannot wait to meet this darling little boy. Ambers' labor was 22 hrs long, everything went very smoothly and after an hour of pushing Connor was born! He is the most handsome little man. As you can obviously see....

He looks like Amber to me, but I see Tyler in him too. Ahhhh babies are what make life worth living. Congrats to the proud Momma & Daddy. They are going to be wonderful parents. He is already loved so  much.

I haven't been blogging like I should. I mean, this is my journal for Aden and I need to keep up with it more. We've cut out having Internet at home so it makes blogging very difficult! Anyway, Aden is growing up so much. He tries to copy everything we're saying. I bought him a Halloween, spider blanket, and I pointed at the spider and said "Spider, Aden" and he said "SPWIWER" or something similar sounding.

 He had his 15 mo appointment yesterday. Three shots. Ughhh. That never gets easy. In fact, as they get older and more aware of what's going on, I believe it may be more difficult! Doctor said he is at a 20 mo level in his development. Down to 50 % on weight, still 75 % height and of course 98 % head circumference. No wonder it took him till 13 mos to learn to walk, his huge head is hard to balance! Big head === Big brains.

And here are some pictures from the last couple of months.

My little prince.

Misc. Ramblings

Ahhhh, the weekend is near! Only a little under three hours until we set out on our hour-long drive home and begin our three day weekend. What's the plans? Well, we are going to the Fort Worth Zoo tomorrow, which I'm excited about. I cant wait to see how Aden reacts to it. Although he pretty much has a zoo at home. Dogs, Horses, Goats and one Donkey all within sight if you peek out our backdoor. Maybe I'll edit with pics this weekend.

The fog I've been in lately has started to lift and I can see slices of light peaking through. I would like to hit up the local Barnes and Nobles for some parenting books. See, from what I read, the stage that Aden has now entered is normal for his age (14 mos). But that doesn't mean its acceptable. He has taken a liking to slapping, pinching and biting. He thinks it's funny. Which sometimes, I'll admit, it's funny as shit when he bites James on the leg, not so much when it's my nipple. Anyway, so I figure a little parenting help is always good. I really don't know much else to do besides what I'm doing now, which is telling him "No, that hurts Mama, no biting." Then he proceeds to bite me again. I can tell you one thing. Thank god for the fact that I waited until the age I am now to have children. Could I have handled it at a much younger age? probably. would I had made the proper parenting decisions and given my child the tools to succeed in life, including that much needed area : discipline? I highly doubt it.

I have scheduled for new pictures of Aden to be made on Monday.  I cant wait to see how they come out. I was going to try and re-create his missed 12 mo shoot, but I'm going to just pick a couple of outfits and go with the flow. I have a really cute cowboy hat I hope we get some good ones with.

Hindsight is 20 20

As I sit at my desk, day after day, I ALWAYS question what on earth I was thinking...I mean really!?! Before I got pregnant my biggest worry was if I'd be able to make it to the barn to ride before dark......or if I'd be ready for my Martha Josey barrel racing clinic....Now, I fight back the urge to break down and cry when I call to check on my baby and he's fussing in the back ground.

I hate it. I hate that I cant be there to nurse him to sleep, like he loves to do. I hate that I cant be there to teach him his words, shapes and colors. I hate even more that I worry that he'll be behind because of those things. Don't get me wrong, I do my best after working all day to come home and spend quality time doing those things. It's hard and if I'm spending all my free time making up for lost time with Aden, I don't have time to do other things. Like work around the house or ride Shasta. I have a wonderful barrel horse, in a pasture, outside my back door and I cant seem to find time to ride. How would I justify spending more time away for my baby boy?

I've found a wonderful, lovely lady, that is more than willing to help me haul to playdays and barrel races, all I need to do is do it....I mean that doesn't come along very often. So why don't I suck it up and do it?  Well, here's why, even after riding and feeling like the barrel racing goal is becoming closer, who I want to be as a mother slips further away...I don't want to be that mother, the mother who chooses horses, or whatever it is, over time with her children. I feel the need to delete this post, because I feel like I'm complaining and taking everything I have for granted..but I wont apologize for being human, or for wanting to be a better person.

Yes, I decided not to sell Shasta. I thought letting her go would be easy. I thought it might even be a relief. I was wrong. I cried and begged James to do something, to somehow open that magical door he possesses and make things better. I kept her. I even started riding a bit and making new goals for myself, then the guilt sets in. The - I- don't- want- to - be -selfish- guilt. James tells me that it's not selfish and that I need time for myself, I know he's right. It doesn't change the overwhelming joy I feel on the weekends when I spend 24-7 with Aden, and the overwhelming despair I feel when I'm without him.

So, I'm going to feel sorry for myself for a minute.  I'm going to envy all the stay at home moms that get to kiss their babies when they want to. I'm going to feel sorry for all the missed time, the unfinished baby book, the photos that still haven't been hung on the wall or sent out to family, the half-painted room and the fights I pick with James because, after all, it's his fault. (<----Sarcasm for the thick headed a**holes that read this.)

I know one thing, what I'm feeling right now goes away. As soon as I get home and see him it all goes away. Everything I'm feeling now fades and I'm happy. I feed him dinner and even "junk" sometimes:

And yes, I upload pics from my phone, because...you guessed it...I just don't have time to mess with my camera.

AND, Aden took 5 steps yesterday. To me and no-one else.

Wordless Wednesday

The watermelon from our garden.

Every little thing....

Reminds me of how quickly Aden is growing up. My little sister is having a baby. This past weekend we all went to Houston for her baby shower. Saturday we went with Amber and Ty to help them with their maternity pics. They came out awesome! It's just so weird to think that last year just a few months prior Amber was in Dallas helping me with MY maternity pics. Funny how life works out like that. Aden and Connor will only be 1 year and 3 mos apart! It's just too bad we live 4 1/2 hrs away!

I'm happy for them though. They have so many people down there that are going to help them in such HUGE ways. Really, I don't think they'll realize just how much that's going to mean in a few months. It's good to know they wont want for a baby sitter, that's for sure! Mr. Connor is the first grand baby down there, so he's going to be SPOILED! Just how God intended babies to be. It was also great to see some of our family that live close to Houston that we don't get to see very often.

On another note, December has been weighing on my mind. In December it will be 10 years that James and I have been together. Yes, we have always celebrated that date. The date we fell in love. It just seems rights since we never had an actual "wedding". I always said on our ten year I wanted to have a real wedding! Doesn't look like that will happen but I'm so happy that we've made it this far and have accomplished this much together. Our love has been the glue that keeps us together, year after year. Hopefully we can think of a nice way to celebrate it this year!

Eye on the prize.

It's hard for me to keep my eye on the prize. Which the "prize" for me at this point is paying off our debt so that I can be a SAHM with Aden and hopefully to a new baby in at least two years. Two years seems like a long way away but in reality it's nothing. Really, I was looking at some old videos of mine on YouTube when I first got Shasta and it's been FOUR YEARS since I got her. It doesn't even seem real. I feel like I did not reach my goal I had intended on when I purchased Shasta (my barrel racing horse) at all. This makes me sick. Just sick. But things change and sometimes new goals replace old ones. The truth of the matter is no matter how much I love being around and riding horses; I know my time with my family at this stage is irreplaceable.


This is why I’m so determined to keep on track with our current “plan”. I'm trying to stay positive. Every day working and being away from Aden when I want to be a home putting all my effort into him, it's hard. I love my family so deeply and want what's best for us all.

AND, I need to lose this baby weight. 20 lbs and they're not budging. I need to get an obtainable goal and stick with it. I think the main problem here is that there are just not enough hours in the day to complete my never ending task that I know I need to do. I've decided to "commit" to working out on my lunch break. I love food too much to "starve" the baby weight off which means the only other way is to burn it off!

Side note:

I intended this blog to be a place where everyone could go on updates on Aden. While it's done just that, it's also a place where I can go and just write out what's going on in my head. Cheap therapy is what Stephanie called it! And that it is. Anyway, I'm rambling sorry. I just wanted to thank all of my dear friends and family that read it and comment on my blog. Y'all have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you!

Aden has such the little personality. My mini - me for sure. Remember when he was crawling / climbing on the dishwasher.

Like this.

Well he has "upgraded" to this:

The months of summer are flying by.

12 Month check-up!

Today we had Aden's 12 mo wellness check up. It went good. I think I'm getting slightly better about the shots. I didn't feel like I was going to pass out this time. Yeah, this coming from someone who went to nursing school & has been giving Grandma her shot every morning for the last month! It's different when it's your baby though.

Aden is 25 lbs, 30 1/2 inches long and I don't remember the head circumference but I know that it's in the 100 percentile. His height & weight are now at the 75 %. I told the doc about him not taking ANY milk during the day. She said while he doesn't have to have a bottle, he needs three six ounce sippy cups of whole milk or formula a day. Which explains why he hasn't gained any weight in over a month. I told Anthony to give him a sippy cup of BM or next step formula with his lunch. Well three hours later I get this text "Can I put some chocolate syrup in his milk?" To which I promptly reply "NOOOO"!! I called to ask him why he would ask such a thing and he tells me that Aden wont TOUCH IT. I call the doctor and she said to get a table spoon and force - feed him 12 spoons of formula/BM..I didn't tell Anthony to do that. I just told him to give him some Ice water (his favorite..I know weird kid). I guess I'll have to work with him all weekend to get him to drink some milk.

Other than that the appointment went really well. She was very impressed with his development and according to the charts he's at a 19 month level. She wasn't concerned about him not walking, said the fact that he stands up on his own without pulling up on anything and can balance for several minutes shows he could take off..he might just be a little cautious. Which I'm thankful for. I don't want my heart in my throat all the time, thank you!

He did okay with the shots, he got his chicken pox. MMR, and TB.

I have to say that I love my pediatrician. I have NEVER and I mean NEVER come in contact with such a thorough doctor. She goes over everything in DETAIL. From what meals he should be eating down to the exact food and hour to have it, to what kinds of educational toys to purchase and what activities to do with him daily to prepare him for school and to be ahead, way ahead.

Something like this is what she suggested we do:

7am-8am Breakfast:

6 ounces whole milk or Formula, 1 serving protein, 1 serving grain, 2 serving Fruit

10am-

Light snack: 1 Grain 2 veggies w/ice water

11-12pm Lunch:

6 ounces whole milk/Formula 1 serving protein, 1 serving grain, 2-3 serving veggies

You get the idea! And for activities:

Purchase small table & chair for preschoolers and start working with him on holding a crayon correctly and drawling on paper. Pick one color a day and work with him on it around the house. Example: Put together flash cards and blocks, pick up a yellow block and say "look Aden Yellow block", then show him a picture of a yellow duck and do the same. Instead of walking around the house hop like a "frog" or waddle like a "duck"..again, you get the picture. This is just a FRACTION of the activities she told us to do with him. Also, counting, start counting everything 1 2 3 then 3 2 1.


I always leave feeling bad though. I cant be home with him to make sure he's on a set schedule or eating the exact why he should be, or teaching him those wonderful activities everyday that will aid in his brain growth and development. It's true if you're not constantly challenging your brain, you wont magically end up with a high intelligence level. For most normal people it takes hard work. Of course I do what I can when I get home and on weekends. I just want the best for him and I know if I was home, I could do so much to help him learn and be ahead of the curve! I will do my best for him, that I know for sure.

Booby baby, when is the right time to wean?

Aden is a major titty baby.  What's weird right now is that for the last couple of weeks he refuses a bottle (breast milk) altogether. He WILL NOT take his bottle for Anthony under any circumstances. I know, I know, he is a year old and its totally fine that he does not want a bottle, maybe even great, hell he is weaning himself. But there's a big BUT here, when I'm around he still wants to nurse as if he's three months old. I mean I still get up at least once at night because he wants to nurse. This is getting old. I'm tired and work full time, I'd like some damn sleep!

However, I still enjoy nursing him and just cant find it in my heart to tell him no, that he cant have booby anymore. It's a little embarrassing though when he pulls down my shirt in front of all of Walmart and says "MAAAAMAAAA" aka "give me some Tit Ta now woman".

So I continue to pump at work to maintain my milk supply until he's ready to be weaned. Problem with that is, the milk I pump is going to WASTE. That pure liquid gold is going down the drain everyday due to him refusing the bottle. I don't understand he's been taking Breast milk bottles since he was 11 wks old!

Which reminds me, it's 10:30 and I need to pump.

Anyone need some extra milk????

Weekend Reflection

The coolest thing happened this weekend. Aden went from sitting to standing postion all on his own, without any help from furniture.

I assume walking is just days away and really, really hope I dont miss his first steps! Oh, the joys of being a full time working mom are endless. (<----enter sarcasim here.)

We also went to Koles 7th B-day party on Saturday. I'm proud to say that his most favorite birthday present was the BB gun that James and I got him! I cant believe that Kole's already 7 years old. Seems like he was just born.

And Aden enjoyed the B-day cake as well.

My little man is growing up and I cant figure out how to stop it!!

Getting so BIG!!

Aden is doing so many new things lately it's hard to keep track! He has definitely entered the separation anxiety stage. He starts to cry really hard when we leave in the morning and it breaks my heart! Gosh, I hope that stage passes quickly. He is also able to follow simple instructions like putting a block back into the container or clapping his hands and my personal favorite giving KISSES. He loves to shower everyone with open mouth sugars and I LOVE IT!

Also, he is taking after his daddy in regards to his new found love for popcorn. Last night, James was giving him pieces of popcorn and every time Aden would say "tank you". Yes, Aden has a growing vocabulary with Mama, Dada (Daddy sometimes), Bye, Thank you aka "Tank Jew", Hello, Bo, Ball and the newest NOOOO.

Walking is surely to come ANY DAY now. He cruises everywhere and can stand alone until he realizes he's not holding on to anything. He was late to crawl so I'm assuming this may take a little time as well. The fact that everyone carries him everywhere I'm sure has not helped the matter any.

We're trying to plan a vacation to SeaWorld next year. I can’t wait to get out of town for a while; we've had it tough lately and deserve a break. James has been working 7 days a week trying to catch us up. I'm a lucky gal, I know. He is what every woman wants. Handsome, hardworking, loving and caring.

This reminds me, I was having the most vivid dream when he woke me up this morning. I dreamed that I was giving birth to a new baby. Everything was opposite of how it happened with Aden. My sister Amber was in the room along with my mom and James. It was a vaginal birth with no meds. When the baby came out we didn’t know whether it would be a boy or girl but when the doctor threw the baby on my stomach it was a boy. I was so happy in the dream I was sobbing. He was small, maybe a 6 or 7 pounder. With a huge amount of black hair. James took him from me, kissed him and said "look at my sweet Rayland Everleigh."

I hope that dream comes true one day.

Birthday boy eating some cake!

Okay, while I'm still trying to get all the photos and the main birthday video up, I did manage to get this one up. Aden is eating his cake and feeding me some too.

Can you PLEASE (to Aden)

Stop copying all the other kids? I mean I love that you're learning new things from them and will be smarter and develop more quickly being around all the other kids BUT that high pitch squeal when you want something that you learned from the 2 year old, not cool. And the slaps, scratches, biting and hair pulling is getting out of hand.

I guess this is where a parenting book would come in handy. I think I'll just google it.

Now, don't get me wrong, you're still the sweetest baby on earth and you think all these lovely new traits are funny. Even when you punched me in the nose yesterday and I swore it was going to bleed. For a one year old you've got some pack with that punch!

Be good,

Love MAMA

Aden eating popcorn.

While I don't have the videos of the big 1st B-day up yet. Here is one of Aden eating some popcorn. Again, ignore my talking in the background. .I've got to remember to quite doing that!!

Aden and Wyatt in the pool

Excuse me talking in the background! :-)

Counting my blessings on Friday

I haven't been here much...to tell your the truth I've been in a major funk lately. Between Grandma falling and breaking her hip to who's taking care of Aden to work & dealing with other mindless drama, it's been tough. And I hate that all that has control over me. I hate that I ha vent had the energy when I get home to upload all of the pics and videos from Aden's party. The party was a hit though and he got some wonderful presents and had a good day. Especially with his birthday cake. :-) A post of that to come soon!

Yes, I'm frustrated! But I'm also thankful. And I want to try and count my blessings so here it goes, I'm thankful for:

My sweet little boy, as soon as I see him I cant help but smile. He is truly the happiest baby in the world. He's been giving Anthony and all the kids kisses all week. He also has a new smile. Lately he's been smiling so big he closes his eyes, shows all his teeth and wrinkles his nose. I need to catch it on camera.

My brother, he's doing a good job with Aden and nothing means more to me than that. Even if he doesn't always answer his phone when I call!

My family, no matter what happens they are always there for me. I love the way my family always accepts people with open arms and makes them feel welcome. We love to adopt outsiders. He he

Last but not least, my husband, he loves us so deeply and always tries his best to provide, protect and love us unconditionally every day.

AND we have some people coming to look at Freckles (our horse) on Saturday. We hate to see her go but know that it's a must to obtain our goal. Still no interest in Shasta as of yet. I may need to leg her up and haul her to a few races to get her sold. With any luck we'll have both of them sold soon. It's going to take a few years to clean some things up but hopefully we'll be able to try for baby # 2 in two years. That's what James and I have agreed upon. Two years.

Aden playing with dog bowls

My sweet baby doing what he does best!

A letter to my son

My Dearest Aden,

I admit, I've been procrastinating about planning for your first birthday party. It's just I never dreamed you turning one would be so difficult for me to accept. Bittersweet indeed. Every time I go to plan the theme, cake, presents, a huge lump forms in my throat and my eyes sting with the promise of tears.

I know by the time you're old enough to read this you're gagging about now, you're welcome. :-)

This year has been such a whirlwind of events with you. From your very first cry to the moment you latched on to nurse or the first time you rolled over, crawled, stood up, cruised and spoke your first words...Oh and have you been talking lately. Some of your words include Mama, Dada, Ball, Dog, Bo (trying @ Bochephus) Hello, Hi, Yeah, No, and I could swore you told me "off" yesterday as I smothered you with kisses and you pushed me away. Oh, you do have the little attitude. You will share your kisses only when you want. Other times you will stiff arm the oncoming kiss and quickly turn your head. I guess you're living up to your name, Aden, which means little fire. But sweet and happy you are, the sweetest baby. I don't know how your daddy and I got so lucky. Even when you were in the hospital when you were 8 mos old with pneumonia, you would smile and laugh. That smile of yours could light up the world and always lights my heart. When I see that smile and hear your laugh all is right with the world.

I want you to know that this first year of your life has been the happiest of mine. I know I can speak for your daddy and say that it has been happiness we could not have fathomed. Everyone that has had the pleasure to meet you has fallen in love. Grandma Kathy loves to tell you "You're Grandma's baby now aren't you?" and you love to answer back with that big toothy grin. Yes, by your first birthday you will have 16 teeth! Daddy swears it's from all the good tit-ta milk. Speaking of milk, we're still nursing! I'm so very proud to have nursed you the first year of your life.  I have enjoyed it. I love the way you cling onto my shirt or bra strap and rub back and forth while you look up at me and nurse. I love the way when I run my finger down your side and you crack that big smile and laugh breaking your latch, then quickly latch back on. I love how relaxed you are when you finish nursing that you lay your head on my stomach, giving me hugs.

Now, you're becoming a toddler. No longer completely dependent on your daddy and I. You can feed yourself most of anything, actually getting pretty good at using utensils. Your favorite foods are fish sticks, green beans, bananas and of course pizza! Yesterday you stood up on your own without any help from furniture to pull up on and stood for several seconds before you realized there was nothing to help you stay up and down you went. Walking is just moments away. 

That's the way I feel this year has went by in just moments rather than days or weeks or months. One incredible proud moment to the next. Your daddy and I are so proud of you. We always say that we could have not possibly made a finer specimen of a little boy!  You are so happy all of the time. It's contagious. You make me want to be a better person. While I say goodbye to your first year and the infant that you were, I say hello to all the new moments and miracles that are yet to come. I will do my best to protect you from harm, but let you explore and enjoy life at the same time. Your father and I will show you how to fish, ride horses and make new friends. We'll teach you how to be brave and stand up for what you believe in. We'll teach you to be kind and understanding. We have so much planned for you in the years to come.

Please always remember, my sweet baby boy, mama and daddy love you no matter what happens or how many years pass. Our love for you is never ending and grows deeper with each breath we take.

Love you always,

Momma

I love Summer!

We are now enjoying the fruits of our labor.

The garden is producing purple hull peas & tomatoes!

 Next up: Jalapenos, Bell peppers, onions, potatoes, green beans and watermelon! Hopefully...

Thankful on Thursday!

Today I'm thankful for....

A day off tomorrow..it's my B-day weekend!

That first thing in the morning Aden only wants me, no one else will do, not even daddy.

I have a husband that makes me laugh and makes me happy.

The sweet smell of horses when I walk out my back door.

Home grown Tomatoes

Look for the good in people

I want to raise my son in a loving environment and teach him to always look for the good in people, which I have a hard time doing myself sometimes. I feel like I've been doing a pretty good job lately of giving people the benefit of a doubt and keep any judgement that might come slipping into my head at bay. I don't pretend to be perfect, but I'm also not a snob, that turns her nose up at people whom are different, or didn't spell a word correctly or use proper grammar. Heck, I'm sure anyone that reads my blog will see that I'm no English major!

 I wish I was more like my husband. He never has anything bad to say about anyone.  Any new managers or employees he has at work, he always says: "he/she seems pretty cool to me" or something equally positive and happy go lucky. Let me tell you, my husband is tough  to make angry (with the exception of me, I know exactly how to make him angry quickly! It's a talent I have). I've witnessed first hand people that have treated him horribly and my heart ached for him, was angry for him. As always, he is very quick to forgive & forget and invite them back in with open arms.

I'm going to work hard to try and conform to that way of living. I mean, what does going around judging everyone really get you? An ulcer? Friendless? Old & Lonely? I read a quote last night that I really like "Do not fear death, but the un-lived life", it makes perfect sense to me. How can you truly enjoy life until you can accept the people around you, good or bad and always give them the benefit of a doubt? There's never a reason to hurt someones feelings or look down on them just because of the way they look, or something they may have said, or their reputation, no one is perfect. I want to teach Aden to love deeply and forgive quickly. To be like his daddy, whom just the other day while we were driving home saw a man trying to push his broken down car out of the street alone, while everyone else whipped around him my sweet husband stopped, put the flashers on and ran to help him push it up a hill and into the shopping center.


It's hard, like all of us, I've had people treat me badly for no good reason. For years I resented it, after all I was RIGHT. In the end it doesn't matter and I'd rather not go to my grave with a heavy heart or live another day being angry at them for treating me unjustly. I've forgiven these people, even when there was never an apology offered. I want to teach Aden to do that same. Hopefully it wont take him years to understand it like it did me. Maybe it'll come easily to him like it does to his daddy.


As Fathers Day approaches I'm so thankful to have such a good daddy for my son. Although I don't always sing my husbands praises, and sometimes we fight like mad, I love and appreciate his gentle and caring nature and hope he passes that to our son.

Sick baby and tired Mama

My poor lil man is sick...again! Grandma called me yesterday to let me know Aden was running a 100.4 fever, so I took off work to take him to the Doc. They did a swab for strep (thank god he didn't have that..AGAIN) and took a little blood sample, it's viral. So nothing to do but give him lots of love and hope it passes soon.

I'm tired of him being sick. Every time I take him to the doctor they ask me, is he in daycare? No, but he is with his three older cousins during the day, two of them school aged. I consider it a huge blessing that he is able to play with his cousins everyday. Most of the time anyway, wasn't to thrilled that Wyatt pushed Aden off the couch yesterday! Thank the heavens Aden didn't get hurt badly (hard wood floors = ouch). Boys will be boys, and he's gonna grow up tough, I don't think he has an option in the matter. We always say that's why he was born 10 lbs, he knew in the womb that he better come out a fighter to keep up with the Jacob boys (all of whom are very large for their ages over the 100 percentile)!

Hopefully this virus passes quickly and in time for Fathers day. We're thinking about a day at the pool, with the Jacob boys!

I've been procrastinating on Aden's 1st Birthday...wow....my baby is going to be one is just a few short weeks. I've decided to throw the big 1st B-day party at our house, on the 4th of July, slip n slid for the kids, barbecue and fire works for everyone. That's another good thing about living in the country, we're able to pop fire works. I guess I better get started on all the plans..theme..Baby Einstein!

14 teeth

that's how many teeth Aden has now! Yesterday he was pretty miserable with the last two poking their way through. Now, he should be DONE until his two year molars come through...which he got all his other teeth WAY sooner that he was supposed to I wouldn't doubt that those come through any day now.

Here's a good pic of hims teefers: The two on the bottom have now come through

On another note, I've been making a "budget" for us like crazy. Decided to sell both of the horses until we pay off some debt. I'd like to be debt free in two - three years (not included the mortgage) and that just wont do with two horses. You know those things eat like...well...HORSES. LOL But really the added expense in farrier, shots, worming, feed, hay...Not that we don't plan to buy horses again. I do, and I plan to rodeo as well. I hope Aden will too. In the mean time, after we sell both horses, I plan to take maybe a lesson a month..you  know to get my horse fix. It will be strange, taking lessons, after owning for the past four years. Anyway, back to the budget. I plan to spend money on NOTHING. Start clipping coupons, shopping @ second hand clothing stores, hair cuts @ the local beauty school, anything to pay off this debt. I want another baby in a few years and I'll be able to stay home for a year, if we pay off some things like credit cards, loans and our car payment. It'll be hard but I'm ready!

Mondays are the PITS!!

After all weekend of being in sweet little country family bliss..it's back to work! Ugh, Mondays are so difficult. Especially when I call to check up on Aden & all I hear in the background is him screaming his head off, and he doesn't cry...ever! It's all I can do to keep myself from flying out of the office and driving down 635 @ 100 miles an hour to hold & comfort my baby. He's better now at least, something happened with the dog..no bites, but something scared my wittle baby. :-(





Well here is my baby baby after his bath: ( he loves to kick us to death when we try to clothe him)

Aden playing

Just Aden playing.

New Milestone!

Aden is trying to eat using his spoon! He still gets frustrated and resorts to his fingers though. :-)

We have a new puppy....

 I don't know what I was thinking when I thought a PUPPY was a good idea for Aden. Between my shoes being destroyed, trying to potty train and keep Aden from ripping his head off...ughhh. Oh well at least he's cute. Here's Aden and Bochepus.

Reasons why I love living in the COUNTRY!!

1. Land...It's in my bones! I hate the city and driving 45 minutes to my heaven everyday is well worth it.

2. Endless options..Not only do I have a million different ideas about how to landscape my HUGE front and backyard, I have a small pasture for horses and an place for my very own veggie garden. We hope to make it larger next year and keep it going thereafter.

3. Raising Aden: The schools are Exemplary!

4. Values: We plan to teach Aden to work for what he wants..living in the country he'll mow yards, clean stalls, weed gardens..the list goes on and on. Plus he'll have an opportunity to get involved with horses & rodeo if he wishes to.

 Although Aden cant help weed and water yet, he's pretty good at chewing on random rocks and eating clumps of dirt.. Here's the garden

Before (In early April)

Now: End of May

Two different people..

Is what I feel like sometimes. Before Aden I had an unlimited amount of freedom that allowed me to do the things I love..like working to become the best rider I can be, learning to barrel race, going on fishing trips with my husband..I don't think anyone can ever understand just how much freedom is gone when you have a baby. I feel torn between the person I was and the person I am now, every day..There's the mother that wants nothing more than to spend every minute with Aden and be totally consumed by the blessing that he is. The person that would sell both of the horses to make it financially feasible to have another baby in a few years.. Most of the time, more often than not, this is who I am.

But my other side tries to escape. The side that wants to ride every day and start on barrels again. The side that would like one day to just go fishing. I understand that there are people out there that have family members that take their kids for entire weekends to give mom and dad a break. We're not one of those families. And to tell you the truth I don't think I'd want Aden gone all weekend, I'm at work 12 hrs a day as it is. I guess sometimes I would like to be just one person. I wish I didn't have an overwhelming need to ride horses. They give me freedom every time I climb on. My worries melt away in the saddle. On the other hand riding around in my small pasture is depressing and offers no challenge. I've advanced beyond the point of riding around for fun..I want more. Reality is I cant have that right now. And 90 % of the time I'm totally happy with hanging out at home with James and Aden. Right now I just have to come to terms with the fact that I cant have both. Both people cant exist..not on our budget anyway. LOL

Aden had his first.....

TEMPER TANTRUM yesterday evening. Ever since the new puppy arrived, he wont stay out of his water & food bowl. Mr. Bocephus (our new puppy) was trying to get himself a sip of water but nooo Aden stiff arms Bocephus right out of the way in order to "splash" in the water...using dads pen I might add. Soo I figured Aden needed to learn that the bowls weren't for playing in. I picked him up & carried him to his play mat while saying "that water is nasty Aden, come play over here". Of course Aden burns out crawling as fast as he can back to the water. We play this game about three times and on the fourth try I put Aden down and he losses it. Screaming and crying and kicking his feet. I couldn't help but laugh. I held my arms out to see if he wanted to come to me (which he ALWAYS does) he kept waving my hands away and shaking his head NO while turning red. That lasted about two minutes. He got over it and insisted on some boobie to make up for it.

Daddy came and got him a little later and took him to the room to play while I cooked dinner. James tells me that Aden goes right over to the outlets and starts hard to work on trying to remove the plug covers. We assume a 11 month old baby couldn't possibly take those things out...right?? I mean that's what they are meant to do, be too difficult for babies to remove therefore protecting the child from inserting their fingers into outlets...Apparently not! Aden spends about 10 minutes "working" on the covers...Do babies really have attention spans that long?? Guess so, because he gets one off, puts it into his lap, and starts to clap his hands while smiling at daddy! WTF...must be a fluke right? Nope he immediately turns and takes off the second one...much quicker that time I might add..

And this already at 11 months. Which reminds me, Aden is almost a year old. WOW. I really have no words.

Videos of Adens First Year

Here are some videos of Aden's first year in order below. Enjoy!

Aden Watching Einstein

Adens first year 419.avi

Adens first year 623.avi

Adens first year 992.avi

Adens first year 995.avi

Adens first year 997.avi

Adens first year 998.avi

Adens first year 999.avi

Adens first year 1128.avi

Adens first year 1320.avi

Adens first year 1495.avi

Adens first year 1533.avi

Adens first year 195.avi

A Baby Story

During my pregnancy I must have watched every Baby Story and Deliver Me episode there was! I never get tired of watching the whole pregnancy and birth experience, it's fascinating to me! Here's my "Baby Story":

During my 8th month of pregnancy I developed an extreme case of PUPPS. It's pretty much a horrible allergic reaction to pregnancy (usually when you're having a boy) that causes extremely itchy hives to erupt all over your body. The only "cure" is delivery. Actually mine didn't go away until after 4 months PP and heavy doses of steroids!! Anyway, to say the least it was the most agonising, itchy, painful, experience of my life...and that included two days of natural labor pains! I was actually induced two days before my due date because of this horrible condition. I was the lucky 1% of all pregnancy women to have this lovely rash. The itch you feel 24/7 is unbelievable, nothing helps, I tried everything! Anyone that's ever had PUPPS knows what I'm talking about...

I was induced on the evening of the 4th of July. At first the nurse administered some cervidil to soften my cervix and hopefully get the ball rolling. I was already 1 cm dilated & "soft" for the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy so I started contracting within hours of the cervidil. Which led to a pretty restless night. The nurse came in the morning and started me up on some pitocin to help regulate my contractions. Doc came in the morning to check me. Said with the contractions I'd been having I should at least be @ 3 cm. NOPE still 1! So, we labor some more. At this point I'd been having horrible back labor for about 8 hrs. Everyone was pretty sure that he was sunny side up and that was the reason for the back labor and no change in my cervix. I sat on a ball, rocked in the chair, anything & everything to get Mr. Aden to TURN! Doc come back in to check me again, I think around 2-3 ish and still ONE and he thinks Aden is still "floating" because when he checks me he is able to push his head and he'll float up and then rest back down. (FYI - "Checking" = torture!) Which of course means he is not properly engaged into my pelvis. In turn, is not bearing enough pressure on my cervix to cause any change (dilation). We discuss breaking my water but decide against it because the doc thought the risk of the cord coming out first is too high due to the "floating" issue. Doc says he'll be back around 5 to check my progress then. Did I mention I was going on 12 hrs of mind blowing contractions w/back labor? Yeah, no pain meds for me. James was wonderful. I would "rock" through my contractions while James applied pressure to my back. This is the only way I was able to get through the pain. Laying in a bed having contractions is ABSURD? Surely it was a MAN that invented a bed to labor in. The birthing and BF'ing classes that we attended a month before really came in handy. The gave us valuable tools in the labor process that really helped me cope and got James involved in the whole process too. What would be more irritating than laboring while your hubby watches T.V.? That was NOT going to happen with me. In fact I didn't want anyone besides James in the L&D room. It was our time to bring our baby into the world and savor the experience..painful or otherwise.

Doc comes back in @ 5 to torture me some more...turns out I was still ONE centimeter dilated! Where do we go from here? I was exhausted. I was told we had a few options.. 1. Keep going and break the water to see if that helps me progress 2. Throw in the towel and C-section or 3. Take the IV out and go home....Go home? Yes, go home and see if the baby will turn and drop properly into the canal overnight. Then we come back in the morning and start ALL OVER AGAIN... So I opt for going home and resting. That night was a blur. I was so very upset that all my dreams of a perfect vaginal delivery were slipping away and the unknown were replacing them. Through my entire pregnancy I said "I'm NOT having a C-section." Well don't they say "If you wanna make God laugh just tell him what you're doing tomorrow?" Yeah..something like that.

The next morning I'm feeling better about the whole situation. Mostly thanks to my wonderful, amazing husband that babied &  pep talked me all night. He really is my rock. Anyway, so I go in & get hooked up and I'm off to the races! Well not really... I wish..it was more of the same. Something was different this time though. Aden had turned according to the nurses and my lack of back labor. After laboring through a full 12 hrs and countless "torturing" or "checking" from my fav doctor I only dilated to 4. Around 6 pm I finally was given the okay for an epidural since I had reached the magic # 4! The epidural was not fully working for me. I complained to the nurse and the anesthesiologist came in to shoot me up with an extra dose of meds. That extra dose did a little more than I expected my entire body from the chest down went numb. I felt sick and couldn't breath, apparently that's "normal". Anyway 10 minutes later we opt for the c-section since Mr. Aden just wasn't cooperating. At that point everyone just wanted him here, safe and sound. The anesthesiologist comes in again to give me ANOTHER dose of meds in my epidural for the C-section. I refuse telling her that if I take anymore I know it will knock me out. She pinches me a couple times and agrees to let me go into surgery without any more meds. Probably not the best idea, when they started cutting I could feel it..but a little local numbing meds and I'm good to go. I'll leave off here since I've already been over the actual delivery of Aden. Here's a pic of Aden & daddy right after delivery & a video of Aden shortly after his birth, getting his first bath.

Learning to climb!

Now, not only does he try to climb the stairs at Grandmas during the day, he is climbing on EVERYTHING! We have a gate put up on the stairs @ Grandmas, but now he climbs into the dishwasher while I'm doing dishes..Also throws out everything I put in! He has now made it a point to get into the DVD shelf and throw all of the movies onto the floor, then he proceeds to open them and take out the Cd's. I cant help but smile. Yeah, I'm going to be big on discipline...LOL

Aden officially has 13 teeth at 11 months old! We were at home depot Sunday when I saw blood dripping down his mouth. The bottom right first molar had finally broken through. The molars are by far the worse!! It's amazing to me that he isn't more fussy than he is. It looks horribly painful. He has ALL of his baby teeth on top with the exception of the two second molars (don't get into they're 25-33 mos. On the bottom he has all of his central & lateral incisors but for some reason his molars are coming in BEFORE his canines...weird..

Little Boys:

Little boys come in all shapes and sizes,

Shy and adventurous, full of surprises,

With misshapen halos and mischievous grins,

Small dirty faces, and sweet, sticky chines.

They'll keep you so busy, and yet all the while

Nothing can brighten the world like their smile.

And no greater treasure has brought homes more joy

Than a curious, active, and lovable boy!