Friday, May 28, 2010

The Beginning

It was November 1st, 2008, a Saturday. I had missed my monthly by about a week. Which is pretty uncommon for me. You could say that we had started to not, not try to get pregnant only a month before. I had no idea that I would get pregnant so quickly. Due to a previous experience when I was 17 I was somehow convinced that the D&C that had been preformed had some ill effect on me since it had been 8 yrs and no babies. But James and I were very careful for those previous 8 yrs. Yes, when I was 17 (James and I had been together about a year) we got pregnant. Let's rewind for a moment: I was a Senior in high school and we were very worried about what we had done. That didn't stop us from (after the initial shock) being very happy about it. I had bad morning sickness with that pregnancy. Which sadly did not last. I guess you could say given my age and situation that it was for the best..I however don't think any lost baby is "for the best" not when you're on the receiving end of it. I remember that day like it was yesterday. We went into the OB and after going over the paper work end we went into the Sonogram room. My mom and James were there with me. At first, the doctor started explaining what we were seeing and taking measurements of the baby. It looked like a little peanut. Then she turned on the sound and zoomed in on the baby. A look of intense concentration and worry immediately came over her face. I knew then something was very wrong. James had my hand and he gave it a gentle squeeze. After what seemed like forever she said the words "No heart Beat" and "I'm sorry". I'm sure at that moment my heart broke in two. Everything after that is a blur..My doctor was explaining that we could just wait for nature to take its natural course and that is should happen within a few days. Well a few days turned into a week which turned into a slight fever which turned into a D&C. They call it a missed miscarriage. Your body doesn't know that the baby is not alive. If I didn't get the baby out it would lead to infection and possible infertility. I called the doctor and due to my fever the doctor suggested a D&C asap. To tell you the truth part of me was relieved that I'd be put to sleep and wouldnt have to witness my baby come out.

Needless to say all of this flooded back into my mind when I saw the two pink lines that day. Of course the first person I told was James, and of course he was over joyed. I scheduled an appointment with a new OB Dr. Garrett Garner. He had delivered my sister Krystal's son Wyatt about a year before. Everyone loves this guy!! He is by far the most upbeat, HAPPIEST person you will ever meet! I was VERY concerned about having a male OB. Turns out to be the best decision we could have made. I had found out about my pregnancy very early on. We went into see him about two weeks later and I was only 5 wks along. We did the ultrasound and the fetal pole had barely started to form...which meant no heartbeat was there yet! All I wanted was to see the heartbeat. It was torture when they told us to come back in a month! During that time at home I started to spot and cramp. I broke down sobbing hysterically and called Dr. Garner. He told me it could be nothing or it could be another miscarriage we just had to wait and see. I spotted on and off up to our next appointment. To our surprise there he was just hanging out. Heartbeat and all. I was 8 wks along. I was in love.

4 comments:

Patricia Dunn said...

The only thing about finding out so early about your pregnancy is that it seemed like you were pregant FOREVER!!! LOL!!!

Brynn said...

Yeah tell me about... 10 lb baby!

chari burt said...

u r defeniliy right it does seem u r pregnant forever . and your story was very moving . i been almost went thru the same thing except yours was worse . i got pregnant a few months before me and dustin got married and was pregnant for 1 month and then had a miscairagge at home but it was only the size of a bean . but it was still heartbreaking . but then almost 2 yrs later i got pregnant with my son who is now 9 months old.

Megan Brown said...

WOW Brynn. I'm so glad you decided to write this for whatever reasons. I didn't know about any of that. Well, not the details. I can't wait til you post more. You have a real talent for story telling dude. Love it!