A letter to my son

My Dearest Aden,

I admit, I've been procrastinating about planning for your first birthday party. It's just I never dreamed you turning one would be so difficult for me to accept. Bittersweet indeed. Every time I go to plan the theme, cake, presents, a huge lump forms in my throat and my eyes sting with the promise of tears.

I know by the time you're old enough to read this you're gagging about now, you're welcome. :-)

This year has been such a whirlwind of events with you. From your very first cry to the moment you latched on to nurse or the first time you rolled over, crawled, stood up, cruised and spoke your first words...Oh and have you been talking lately. Some of your words include Mama, Dada, Ball, Dog, Bo (trying @ Bochephus) Hello, Hi, Yeah, No, and I could swore you told me "off" yesterday as I smothered you with kisses and you pushed me away. Oh, you do have the little attitude. You will share your kisses only when you want. Other times you will stiff arm the oncoming kiss and quickly turn your head. I guess you're living up to your name, Aden, which means little fire. But sweet and happy you are, the sweetest baby. I don't know how your daddy and I got so lucky. Even when you were in the hospital when you were 8 mos old with pneumonia, you would smile and laugh. That smile of yours could light up the world and always lights my heart. When I see that smile and hear your laugh all is right with the world.

I want you to know that this first year of your life has been the happiest of mine. I know I can speak for your daddy and say that it has been happiness we could not have fathomed. Everyone that has had the pleasure to meet you has fallen in love. Grandma Kathy loves to tell you "You're Grandma's baby now aren't you?" and you love to answer back with that big toothy grin. Yes, by your first birthday you will have 16 teeth! Daddy swears it's from all the good tit-ta milk. Speaking of milk, we're still nursing! I'm so very proud to have nursed you the first year of your life.  I have enjoyed it. I love the way you cling onto my shirt or bra strap and rub back and forth while you look up at me and nurse. I love the way when I run my finger down your side and you crack that big smile and laugh breaking your latch, then quickly latch back on. I love how relaxed you are when you finish nursing that you lay your head on my stomach, giving me hugs.

Now, you're becoming a toddler. No longer completely dependent on your daddy and I. You can feed yourself most of anything, actually getting pretty good at using utensils. Your favorite foods are fish sticks, green beans, bananas and of course pizza! Yesterday you stood up on your own without any help from furniture to pull up on and stood for several seconds before you realized there was nothing to help you stay up and down you went. Walking is just moments away. 

That's the way I feel this year has went by in just moments rather than days or weeks or months. One incredible proud moment to the next. Your daddy and I are so proud of you. We always say that we could have not possibly made a finer specimen of a little boy!  You are so happy all of the time. It's contagious. You make me want to be a better person. While I say goodbye to your first year and the infant that you were, I say hello to all the new moments and miracles that are yet to come. I will do my best to protect you from harm, but let you explore and enjoy life at the same time. Your father and I will show you how to fish, ride horses and make new friends. We'll teach you how to be brave and stand up for what you believe in. We'll teach you to be kind and understanding. We have so much planned for you in the years to come.

Please always remember, my sweet baby boy, mama and daddy love you no matter what happens or how many years pass. Our love for you is never ending and grows deeper with each breath we take.

Love you always,

Momma